Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

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Knock Knock. I paid good money for a doorbell. Use it, please.

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Why cant Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish.

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

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Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Two penguins sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap." The other says, "What do you think I am, a clock!?!?"

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Women's rights

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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why did the duck fall in the water? It got shot

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Q: What happens when a Jew with a boner runs into a wall? A: He breaks his nose.

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I just met you! And this is crazy! I just took bath salts, and yor face looks tasty!

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Why did sarah fall of the swing? she has no arms. Knock knock. whos there? not sarah.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know, that's why I was asking.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the other birds had taken hostage the chickens family.

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A man walked into a bar. "Ouch"

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What do you call a Muslim running a country? Obama

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What happened the homeless guy's home? A meteor fell on it.

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How do asians chop their food? CHOPSTICKS! Moral: Yeah that one sucked... ON PURPOSE! Now you dont have to feel inferior ALL the time, you feel equal even though you arent! Ill allow you :D

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What's better than winning at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Whats the differnce betwwen a Wheelbarrow and a sack of dead babies The wheelbarrow is not in my garage

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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