Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

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A man met a genie that granted him three wishes. I wish I could fly. The genie gave him a plane ticket. No, I want to really fly for real! The genie put him inside a plane. Okay, I wish I was unable to die then! The genie killed him. Moral: Not every story needs to make a fucking sense.

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what do you do if you see an asian trip on a step? help him/her up and ask if their alright.

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Q:Why did the boy cry? A: because his mom was hit by a bus Q: why did the boy wipe his face? A:he was covered in his mother blood and threatened all the witness who saw him push his mother into the bus

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A man walks into a bar.....OW!

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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What do you call a woman not in the kitchen? Her name.

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The Detroit Lions

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Two peanuts were walking down the street. Well actually, they just rolled a bit and then stopped. Peanuts don't have legs.

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What do you call a pregnant girl? Your Ex

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boobs

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Charlie Sheen walks into a bar... Every morning, and stays until it closes... [credit gilbert gottfried]

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How do you keep a secret? Kill yourself.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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Q.what does the kid scream when he see's a creepy man in a big van pull up? A. ICE CREAM!

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What's a pirate's favorite color? Depends on the pirate.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out it's an orange

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Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

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The original Moral Man has left Horsehead network, but I will keep monitoring this section for like 3 hours... Then probably never again on this shit site it barely works ffs! Moral: "Turn every stone, and you might find a penny, turn every penny and you might find a stone that stone is in our shoe, kick it away, crush it, destroy it"

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A bear walked into a bar and said to the bartender," I'd li.........................ke one beer please. " The bartender replied, " Sure. But why the big pause? "

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Q. There were 2 Mexicans in a car, who was driving it? A. The police officer.

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anti jokes aren't always funny on here

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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