Rose's are red, Violet's are blue, I have a gun... Get in the van!

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A black man walks into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder. The bartender asks "Where did you get that?" The monkey replies "Africa, there are thousands of them."

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what is the difference between a car salesman and a lawyer? a car salesman sells cars to people while a lawyer is an expert in law.

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Yo mama's so fat she couldn't ride on roller coasters with you in Disney world. Sometimes you wish you could share more fond memories with her.

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What's the best time to visit a dentist? Generally every six months or so.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure and drugs.

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A black man is going to get a vasectomy. He shows up to the doctor's office wearing a suit. The doctor says "Why are you wearing a suit?" The black man says "I just got back from a funeral"

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. Bars serve people of all religions.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with Macaulay Culkin? Because he's dead.

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I went to the principle's office because I had a hard time reading They tried to tell me I was lesdistic

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My parents have an open marriage.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe. -Tag

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Knock knock Who's there? Doorbell repairman

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Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: Names

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What do you call women playing the sport of lacrosse? I dont think it matters because Women's Lacrosse isn't a sport.

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Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought that the second one would have seen it.

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Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

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What do a squirrel and a cucumber have in common? They both cant ride bikes

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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Why did a Jewish man have no hair left? He recently got a haircut.

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without laughing try to say " i hate bubble" with a dull face

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Yo mama so fat when she sat around the hous she sat AROUND the house

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What's worse than finding a snake in your apple? Finding a snake in your apple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops