Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

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How do you stop a baby from making bad grades? You throw a javelin at its head.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? orange? orange who? orange ya glad i didn't say your family was dead.

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Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

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what did the captcha say to the homo sapien? frTrewQui NiolismTU

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[Enter Funny-Anti Joke Here] [Enter Retarded Answer Here]

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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How did the osprey find the fish? He searched for it.

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Are you from Jamacia? Because I want to have sex with you.

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Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

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knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

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Knock knock, Whos there Nig.ger Nig.ger who Fu.ck all nig.gers.

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why was the boy sad he had a frog stapled to his face

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Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

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Where can you find elephants? That depends on where you leave them.

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Why couldn't the cat drink the milk? Because it had no face

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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What's as red as a Lobster? A Lobster

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Who. Who who? ... Who?

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what do you do to gay guy who wants to have anal sex with you? beat him with a steel baseball bat in his face.

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Whats the square root of x^2? Variables cant be gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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