why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would run away too if your name was urdaagaa.

A man walks into a bar. Q: What's the apple doing on your head? A: Peach? It's not pear. It's banana.

What's small and harmless, but deadly when thrown at high speeds? A baby.

ARE YOU OKAY? Well thanks for asking actually I could be doing a bit better bu... BUSTER WOLF! Moral: No Im adding moral here, I mean why ask people if they are feeling okay before you break then in half?

why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

roses are red and violets are blue so is your mums fanny

Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

A woman went out and had a great time with her friends. Then she walked home alone and got viciously raped by 4 large black men.

you are gay

My title of old was Satan. You humans killed my brother, ending God the holy trinity`s stay on earth, the Gods Omega. Moral: And yet you call ME? THE ANTICHRIST?!? I OFFERED HIM WATER! YOU OFFERED HIM TORTURE AND DEATH!

A: thats what your mom said last night! B: my mom committed suicide when i was three because she could not handle the stress of being a teen mother with an abusive boyfriend. A: oh... B: yeah....

how many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? who cares even if they could screw it in it wouldnt work because there to poor to aford electricity

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

A blind woman was watching tv. think about it

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: So it could get hit by a car, to prove that chickens have free will, and have every right to cross a road without any particualar reason.

How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

stfu Aodhan u and kevin are doin all the instigsating

What's the difference between and onion and a dead baby? There is a big difference.

why was the albino black crying? because all babies cry you racist

Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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