Gun laws don't work because criminals don't pay attention to the laws

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A black man walks into a bar. "Whoops, that's not the Weed shop!"

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Two Texas farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes." Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Jim says. "What's that?" The dean says, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?" "Yeah." "Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard." "That's true, I do have a yard." "I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house." "Yes, I do have a house." "And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family." "Yes, I have a family." "I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual." "I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater." Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Bob says, "What's that?" Jim says, "I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?" "No." "Then you're gay!"

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What do two black guys do when they walk into the convienent store with masks? Buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

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An Asian man is driving a car. He was on the way to the market to buy dinner for his family

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Whats 1+1? The answer!

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What do you call a Simon with no arms and legs? Simon

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What happened when the Texan saw snow for the first time? He said "Oh my goodness this is cool"

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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I'm on the seafood diet. I eat clams and shrimp because it is healthy for me.

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's black.

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roses arent always red, they can be pink or white. violets are violet, not blue. your pretty lets have sex.

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What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Monks do not speak.

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Worms don't like apples.

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why did the clown stop laughing? because it got hit by an axe

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A black man and a midget walk into a bar. They notice the beverages are unreasonably priced so they leave.

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look left now look right. washing machine

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There was a blond girl and a brunette girl. The brunette had a pink shirt that had " Abercrombie & Fitch" on it. The blond looks at the brunette and asks, where did you get your shirt?

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Why did the bird fall down? It got shot.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "What'll it be?" The duck says that he should get his doctor on the phone because his hullucinations are getting worse.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why is this funny? cause it is funny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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