Q. What did the buddhist monk say to the hotdog vendor? A. "I'd like a hotdog, please."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell down and bumped his head He suffered a serious concussion and was never the same again.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red, HOLY SHIT THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? KFC was closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did bully fall of his bike He was eaten by a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc, I've been having the strangest dreams First I'm a tee pee, Then I'm a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam! What could be wrong with me?" The doctor looks at the man and says, "You have aids."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

black people - basketball rednecks- nascar mexicans- soccer asians- uuuuuh I don't know can i get a hint

thumb_up thumb_down +11

how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock Who's there? *silence* Silence Who?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? No. Trees don't jump

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What do you call a real joke on anti joke A: Someone obviously don't understand the concept of this website

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the difference between a 1980 mustang and a pile of dead babies? I don't have the mustang in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did the tree say when it fell down? Nothing it is humanly impossible for a tree to talk. Especially after it fell down. I mean that would hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q; Why to did the chef jump off of a cliff wearing an Elmo suit? A; Because he felt like it. It;s a free country

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A blonde and a brunette walk into a job interview. The brunette gets the job because she is more qualified and has more experience.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the martian say to the other martian when he saw a fire hydrant? "Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many clowns fit in a car? Depends how many get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops