what did the bartender say to the customer? a. is it the first option b. is it the second option c. is it the third option.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

thumb_up thumb_down +21

did you know hellen keller had a dog? niether did she

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar and says "ow"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

deez nuts

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A Black man walks into a bar. He then has a drink of Alcohol and walks home to return to his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did the bannana say to the milk carton. nothing bannanas cant talk and their on the other side of the store

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Hurricane Irene.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How do you kill a Jewish person? You shoot him multiple times in the face

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did amelia earhart get lost? because she was a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who knows? They all just sit and bitch about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: If a Hungarian boy grows up to be a very successful payroll manager and learns to love and hate, show compassion while firing someone, and how to re-image the entire white house's security system, how many pickles are in the doghouse? A: 17

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why is Kony hated by the kid with ADHD? Hey look a kid being raped while watching his family getting killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the man on the moon say? Nothing. He died because his supply of oxygen ran out.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did the black man get a nice car? He spent 8 years of his life getting a doctorate so he could be hired at a job that will pay for his desired vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's black and white and has difficulty turning corners? A nun with a javelin stuck through the neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

*Hands women baby* Women: Hes so beatiful! I'm going to love him forever! Doctor: Its not yours, yours died.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the vegetarian eat a steak? Because he was not a vegetarian

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops