man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

Two Jews walk in a bar...

Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

Joe diragi is gayer than elton john

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What did james say on his bitrhday? There was no birthday because he was aborted but he said ''crunch'' anyway

Why couldn't Billy the bird fly? He was an ostrich, ostriches can't fly.

Knock knock Who's there Banana Bananas can't talk. Crap he's on to me

What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot.

What's a black man's favorite fruit? Clementines.

what did the duck say to the hawk? quack

What's big, white, and when it falls out of a tree, it can kill you? A refrigerator.

Philosoraptor, turds IM A SPAMBOTz B=Not really, just blind.

how much did the asian man pay for his operation? nothing. he's dead.

Knock Knock .... Knock Knock .... Pum Pum Pum .... LAPD! open the door!

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are eating lunch on a bridge. The Mexican drops his taco off the side of the bridge and the Italian and American were kind enough to share some of their lunch with the Mexican making it a successful picnic. Their ethnicity was not relevent at all.

What do you get when you cross a cat with a fish? A dead fish.

Gay jokes aren't funny Cum on guys

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? She's dead.

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.