- Anti Joke

What's round and red? A red and round solid.

What's the capital of Hungary? Thirtsy

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock who's there? the chicken

"DUDE! THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR LEG!" "SERIOUSLY!"

there are 2 muffins in an oven one says "man its hot in here" the other says "shut up i hate this joke"

Why did the Jewish boy grab his groin? Because he was just circumcised.

Yo mama is so fat, she is thinking of going on a diet.

A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

What is the difference between 10 dead babies and a 1,000,000 dollar car I don't have a 1,000,00 dollar car

How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her she is a burnette.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? monkey see monkey do why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? it lost its footing why did the girl fall down? she was hit by four monkeys and a refridgerator

Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

In Soviet Russia, man doesn't walk to the bar. The bar walks to the man!

if a cat is mean and a dogs a bitch then what do u call your wife? A MEAN ASS BITCH

THE GAME

Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

three friends are chilling one day and they all think they belong in Guinness book of world records the first guys says i believe i have the smallest arms in the world, the second guy says i believe i have the smallest nose in the world and the third guy says i hate to admit it but i believe i have the smallest dick in the world. So they all go down to Guinness book of world records inc. and the first guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST ARMS IN THE WORLD" the second guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST NOSE IN THE WORLD" the third guy comes out all depressed and mad and says "WHO THE HELL IS JUSTIN BIEBER"

knock knock whose there? my penis.

Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

Why wasn't the dog obedient? Because it was dead.

How did baby Bobby spend his summer vacation? He didn't, he died from heat exhaustion.

Your mama's so fat, that during her last physical checkup, her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to lose some weight before any serious medical conditions arose that would adversely affect her health and well being in a chronic fashion.

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "That's kind of ambiguous..."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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