Whats the difference between a giraffe and an elephant. Ones a giraffe and ones and elephant

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How do you get 2x1=4? Do the wrong math.

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a mushroom walks in to a little boys party the boy says why are u here mushroom says because im a fun-guy (fungis,fungi)

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What did the man say when he was asked if he recently saw a mime painting a lawn chair in the middle of December? "No." , and walked away, slightly confused by the matter.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a shovel? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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Q: How do u make a butcher cry A: Kill its family

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What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

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Did you hear about Big Chief Running Water? Probably not. Indoor plumbing was invented after Europeans murdered his ancestors.

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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A cat walks by a chineese buffet, the owner kindly puts food and water outside the door so it doesnt die

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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A women walks into a bar which is means she is pretty rich to be able to have a bar in her kitchen

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

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Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken saw some potential food across the street.

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What do you call a guy who makes jokes about a girl being in the kitchen? Single.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is deceased, therefore rendering her incapable of movement, which is required to drive a vehicle.

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My next door neighbour found out yesterday that I am a serial killer. Knock Knock. [L]

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What's green, covered in cookie crumbs, and lies in a ditch? A Girl Scout that was hit by a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops