Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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Miss Hoolie: Hello, PC Plum. What's the story in Balamory? PC Plum: I'm arresting you for the sexual molestation of twenty children.

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A man walks into a bar. And has a beer.

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What did Snichols do when he murdered his ex-partner who became a lesbian? The ass dance.

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Why did the black guy go to jail? Because he committed an illegal crime.

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Daniel is a fag

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Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

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Once upon a time, a duck named Jim went to work, he went up to the steps to his new job and and he was paid all day to sit in a hot tub. Little did he know it was a boiling pot and he was served at Christmas dinner

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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Q. why did I get hurt A. My pants fell off

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Why did the boy kill his parents? Because he doesn't understand this joke either

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Have you ever seen a cowboy chasing boot?

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Have you got any grapes?" The bartender replies "No." The duck then leaves but returns the next day and again asks, "Have you got any grapes?" And again the bartender answers, "No." This happens again the next day and in annoyance the bartender yells, "If you come in tomorrow and ask if I have any grapes, then I will nail your feet to the floor!" The next day the duck came into the bar and asked, "Have you got any nails?" to which the bartender replied, "Yes." The duck then walked out of the bar

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Why'd Mary fall off her bike? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Mary... O.o

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What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

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If it wasn't for my horse I'd never go to college.

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Today I looked at a clock and realized that I was late.

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Why did the boy get stuck on the toilet? He was Elvis.

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why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? you would too if your name was uuhuhuhduhh

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Ask your friend: Will you remember me in a week? Will you remember me in a month? Will you remember me in a year? Knock Knock. Who's there? How did you forget me already?!?

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Q. Why didn't bob go to work today? A. I killed his family.

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What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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A man walks into a doctor's office, he pees in a cup and is diagnosed with diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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