Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

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Why did the door close on little Timmy? He was getting gang raped.

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Why did the poorly educated man get fired from the M&M factory? He changed the M's to W's!

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One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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Whats the similarity between a bike and a black person? They are both stolen

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Q: Why did little Johnny not like little Suzie? A: He was a homosexual.

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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A man walks into a bar . . . he is tired and thirsty after a long day at work.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Mets.

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Bra*don Che*ey is tall. Facebook me please... Im desperate

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What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

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You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

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you know whats worse then losing your banjo? finding a spleen in it's place

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How do you put 4 elephants inside a Volkswagen? You'd have to the change the interior design of the car and probably cut most of the roof. How do you put a Giraffe inside a Volkswagen? You ask her nicely to squeeze in between the four elephants...

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

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Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other one's a watermelon

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why is the room so dark? because the light is not on.

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Q: Why are there no tablets in the jungle? A: The pharmaceutical logistics involved would be enormous and would make very little business sense.

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i feel like i will die some heroic death, but its more likely i will trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.

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Roses are red. Violets are purple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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