Why didn't the parachute open? nevermind

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock Knock WHO'S THERE?????!!! y u mad? u have been knocking at the doors for 5 hours now, mom

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's comfy and easy to wear? Shorts.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the blind lawyer say to the doctor? We're both lawyers!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "you sir are gay!" The gay man says, "I take offense to that!" The bartender then replies "how may I help you."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Superman cross the road? I dunno.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what did the man say to his dog? sex. -teagan doherty

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because numbers, like people, are afraid of all things bigger than themselves

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did one ginger say to the other We have red hair

thumb_up thumb_down -14

You're mother has had a heart attack in the middle of the street, you start to sing amazing grace hoping people will join in, but unfortunatly this is not a musical and you should call 911.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

how do you make a plumer cry kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats the difference between a phone and a mexican? You can't dial a mexican.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A rabbai , a mexican , and a ginger are In a car going over a cliff. Which one dies? Who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

"Media Zombies" Sounds like the Nero I remember.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did the little boy cross the road? because he had been raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar they are good friends and enjoy alcoholic beverages.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops