What did the ghost say to the bee? BOOBEE

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Why can't Chuck Norris die? He can, he's just a normal human being.

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A black man and a black woman are in a car, who's driving? The police.

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What do you call a black pilot? A PILOT

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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what did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? cancer

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Why cant Hellen Keller Drive? Because shes a women.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He sits down for about half an hour, enjoys some drinks and calls a taxi to take him home.

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What do you say on a date with Uma Thurman? Hey Uma, pass the salt.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You had purchase an item online through Amazon.com, I'm the delivery guy. You had purchase an item online through Amazon.com, I'm the delivery guy, who?

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What do you call a Fish without the I? Astyanax mexicanus, or the Blind Cave variant of the Mexican tetra

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Why was the blonde sent to prison? Well there could be a number of reasons, but I for one do not know this specific blonde so I can not help you.

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A man gets three wishes from a talking banana. His first wish is for a gay lover, his second wish is to have a naked grizzly bear, and his third is to become a professional tennis player. Soon after he got Aids from the Grizzly bear.

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Why did the blonde die? She was slurped up by a 1,000 foot anteater.

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A little boy starts to be followed by a man in a large white van. They come across an intersection, the boy turns left, and the man turns right.

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If John had 4 apples and gave 2 to Mary, what is the circumference of the sun?

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1 fish 2 fish red fish wait why is the fish red , oh I forgot I killed it

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what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

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why did the plumber start to cry? his family died

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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Why doesn't the boy get anything for Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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Man in Balcony: You're telling it wrong!

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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Why could the woman not play the game monopoly? Because she did not own the game monopoly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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