Knock knock Who's there Knock knock Who's there Knock knock Who's there Never mind

thumb_up thumb_down -27

On Tuesday mornings at 7:32 a.m., what is the square root of 31? I don't know, because it would be an irrational number of which is not possible to calculate without the aid of a calculator. However, the date and time would not affect the answer.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, the answer is to get to the other side, but this is an anti-joke site so I don't know why as it can't be it.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I america you read books. But in Soviet Russa, Books read YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a black man approaching your car in uniform whose name happens to be Darius? Officer Darius.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the girl stupid? Because she had a low IQ

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the man say to his wife at the funeral. Nothing, he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red Violets are blue You're a whore

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats the difference between Obama and Romney answer: one would have been a good president instead of a communist

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Ready for something funny? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

don't read this

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Misthrown

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are gray Violets are gray ROFL I'm a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did Charlie do when he lost his golden ticket? He killed his grandpa to get it back.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you get when you cross a Chinese man with a dog? A happy Chinese man and a pile of dog bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I have a black guy on my family tree. He's my cousin.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

roses are reddish voilets are blueish if it weren't for christmas we'd all be jewish

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

in superbad, why couldnt seth take off mclovin's face and wear it as his own? no one can. theyre fictional characters in a movie

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night and realized that his house was being robbed.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops