What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

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How do you get a n***r out of a tree? Cut the rope

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How do you kill a blonde? You wait until she dies of old age, then copyright her death.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead puppy.

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Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

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only one person get beat up chuck norris. Who you say? Bruce Lee. He got lucky because his eyes were closed.

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Why did the boy go to heaven? He was in an airplane.

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What did your last slave die of? Terminal Cancer

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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What did the sea say to the sand? Nothing, he just waved.

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Knock knock Who's There..... Guess who's coming Who's coming Me inside you !

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Q: How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Juan

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What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

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Why did the man not go to church? He was an atheist.

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

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roses are red violets are blue pornhubs down your mums facebook will do.

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Guy 1: Ask me if I have a banana in my ear. Guy 2: Do you have a banana in your ear? Guy 1: Sorry I can't hear you I have a banana in my ear

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because it wasn't a pilot it was a toaster.

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An rich man walks into a ghetto and buys something for 1 million dollars. what store was he in? he wasn't in a store,he got robbed

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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Scott Gomez

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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