Q. What did the buddhist monk say to the hotdog vendor? A. "I'd like a hotdog, please."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man and his son cross the street, the man hears a screaming noise and ignores it, the man gets across and notice his wife missing...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I went up to my friend and she said to me, "Foop." I calmly went to the nearest teacher and told her that Susie is having a mental breakdown again

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Cold camel scrotum.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Nero I know I am being a selffish bastard, but please let me speak with you for ten more minutes or so, I am sorry but its like part of me do not believe its you, we all saw your corpse, attended your funeral, please stick with me, I just feel flustered vulnerable and stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Do you know what it looks like when you put a cat in the microwave for 3 minutes? I don't know either because I close my eyes when I masturbate.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: How do you get an elephant in a refrigerator in three easy steps? A: You open the refrigerator door, you put the elephant inside, you close the refrigerator door. Q": How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator in four easy steps? A": You open the refrigerator door, you take the elephant out, you put the giraffe inside, you close the refrigerator door.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is the worst joke to tell a Orphan? Knock Knock Who's there Not your parents ( Man than slams door in little girls face)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your mother is so overweight that she decided to have liposuction and then proceeded to live a wonderful life.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a fat old hobo named da'shovant'e ate a bucket of fried chicken then killed a little girl named poopface McFergusen

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There was a two car pile up at wal-mart. 50 mexicans were killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is black and white and red all over? A half eaten zebra carcass.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the man with AIDS say to the other man? I have AIDS and will most likely succumb to the disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Steve Jobs step down as CEO of Apple? Because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many of my Dad's "fishing buddies" have gone down to the basement for a "meeting", but never returned? 37 so far. I'm concerned. I seriously have never seen my dad fish. Pretty sure he doesn't own a fishing pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a scottish drunk? a taxi

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What happened to the guy that took to many lunesta pills? He fell asleep but he was glad it was the weekend or he would have been late for his job

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Have you seen Elton johns pet dog? Neither he's he.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a black man on a bike? Environmentally friendly.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is lil Wayne's real name? Dwayne micheal carter jr.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is a bad thing to see and is attached to a boy's body. The middle finger u dumb ass!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q.whats the weirdest thing??????? A.woman leaders

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops