Q: How do turn water into wine. A: You don't.

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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Why can't Stevie wonder read? He can. He reads braille.

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Call me Ishmael. Or don't. Well, you can, but I'm not forcing you. You could call me Steve or Bob, it's not really that important. I'm just around here anyway to tell about a huge white dick. A whale dick. A SPERM whale dick. Never mind. Or the guy whose obsessed with it. No, it's not what it sounds like. He just wants to stab it with his harpoon. Wait, that sounds even worse. Whatever. Anyway, call me Ishmael...

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Thumbs this up

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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800000000000000000?0?00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000?0000 I hate you

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Why is a budgie Because the other leg is yellow

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Knock Knock, Come in.

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What's worse than a midlife crisis? Having an affair with the dog.

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they call me the green lantern because my little sister died in chemical fire

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Please ignore this statement.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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Q. What's pink and fluffy A. Pink fluff Q. What's blue and fluffy A. Blue fluff

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Why did the man loose his balls? he had testicular cancer and had to get them removed.

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What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Polite say "Hey you, get out of that tree."

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why did the stupid blonde run straight into oncoming traffic? because there was a small child there that could have been seriously injured.

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I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

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Friends and Potatoes are similar...if u eat them try die.

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Oh no! My life is ruined!

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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