Did you hear that Jerry Sandusky won the swimming race? He's in very good shape for a man his age.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Instead of throwing out his garbage, a young boy decided to play a prank on some passersby and left a banana peel on the sidewalk. moments later an elderly woman walked past and slipped on the banana, falling backwards and smashing her head. The young man watched from the bushes as paramedics shook their heads and placed a now lifeless body in a body bag and took it away. The young boy, startled and shocked at what he just saw, tried to run away, but slipped on his own banana peel, falling backwards onto the pavement. The young boy was lucky and survived, but later had to go to therapy for many years to come, the thought of his prank gone wrong torturing him until he took his own life. What is the moral of the story? Do not litter, ALWAYS throw out your garbage.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did i come to this site i was doing a school easy about the anti-apartheid movement

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the chicken die? He tried to cross a road by an alleyway, therefore getting hit by a double decker bus and the alleyway has nothing to do with it. Also, the chicken had one leg and was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Hey connor and brett its ben, you are both at my house

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How's your mum? she's dead..

thumb_up thumb_down -115

Knock knock... Whos there? The IRS, we are taking your house.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What happened to the man that never got picked up? He died of a brain aneurysm, the ambulance never came.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why am I writing this? Cuz I am eating babies alive right now!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's as bad as doing something you don't like? Doing another thing you don't like

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Once upon a time there was a king who had a daughter. She eventually grew up and contracted aids got run over by a bus and shit her pants..

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

roses are red vilits are blue get in the van or i kill you

thumb_up thumb_down -3

knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder from your house and kindly help him down.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Wanna hear a joke? that disabled guy who wants to climb mount everest.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was Reed sad? His mother has a penis

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Chuck Norris' balls were so big that he went to the doctor to get them checked on and it was discovered that he had testicular cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's big, grey, and can't climb a tree? A car park.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops