Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the best way to suprise your friend? Shove a banana up his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

what do you call a football team without players a group of coaches

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? One is a specific type of sports car, and the other is a sad destruction of many young lives

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the man sad His got raped

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I milked the cow, but no gas came out.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Well that explains a lot, thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q. What do you call a black pilot? A. A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Me: Want to hear a funny joke? Person: What? Me: Women's Right.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A: My dog has no nose! B: How does he smell? A: He cannot smell, because he has no nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I farted!!!!! t'was smelly??????? I LIKE CRABS! #tomato problems

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walks into a bar, the other man ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the elephant say to the other elephant? We're both elephants!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's better than winning a medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the Chicken cross the Road? To get to the other side! (To fully appreciate the subtle nuisances of this joke, you really have to be a chicken.)

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I Hear Boston Is having a blast.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

9/11/01 walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops