There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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Yo mama so fat, her whole family is encouraging her to exercise and go on a diet.

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what has wheels and runs on gas? a car with feet

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why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my D***

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Two great white sharks are swimming in the ocean together, one turns to the other to speak, but doesn't because sharks can't talk.

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Have you heard the joke about the cat? No Are you kitten me

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How did the magician make his assistant disappear? He killed her and then cremated her body

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? words

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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whats the difference between kids and jewish people? kids come home from summer camp

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What do you call a black person at a 7-11? A customer.

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What happen to the guy who didn't breathe A. He died

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? She didn't, women belong in the kitchen.

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womens rights

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Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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When Chuck Norris realized that there was a more superior being than himself. What did he say? Suck it Safka

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"Behold, the greatest invention Man has ever seen!" exclaimed the inventor of eyes.

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What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

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Other Guy: What are you looking at? Me: You.

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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