Why did the black man buy a watermelon? So he can eat it.

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Roses are red, VIolets are blue, Tulips are white, Sunflowers are yellow

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle

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What does Mitt Romney approve of flip flops? They feel good on his feet.

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what does a baby with no lims get for christmas...cancer

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As little Timmy crossed the finish line his heart raced with excitement he had just won the big race. Later he and his family went home to celebrate they had pizza and chips and soft drinks. Then they played scrabble and watched spiderman 2. After that Timmy went to sleep. When his parents found him that morning they mourned and mourned because their hero little Timmy was still asleep.

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What is brown and woody? Brown wood.

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both can fly except for the mole

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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I was the bigger man in the argument. The person I was arguing with is now unconscious.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Older.

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I told my friend the best anti joke I've ever heard in my life the other day. He didn't laugh. He is autistic and doesn't understand humor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by a car. I lied about him crossing the road.

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What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

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Tony Soprano walks into a diner

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Ipod to earbuds: "hey buds" earbuds response: "sup player"

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Did you hear the joke about Hellen Keller? Neither did she.

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What happens if a guy is gay? You call him Verl.

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What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

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-Why did the chicken cross the road? '' I dont know '' -Because it would cross the road and over to you. -Knock knock? '' Who's there?'' - CHICKEN!!!!!!!

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What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

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How many anti-jokes does it take to change a light bulb? Since anti-jokes are not concrete objects, any change would have to occur metaphorically or abstractly. The number of anti-jokes required would then be irrelevant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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