Bill is walking down the street when a girl who had a crush on him 20 years ago sees him, goes up to him, and says, "I think I know you, what is your name?". Bill says, "Timmy," and keeps walking because he is an asshole.

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Can I touch it?

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A rhinoceros walks into a bar. As it felt threatened by the presence of many humans, the rhino attacks and kills several people with the big horn on its nose.

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One time, I ate 3 chipotle burritos....after a tennis match

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Why did the clown fall off the swing? He got shot.

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Yo mamma is so pretty, she is frequently complimented on her good looks.

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What's black and doesn't work? My blackberry

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What do you call somebody who can't walk? Handicapped

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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What was so special about Anne Frank's diary? Nothing. ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Roses are red...

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A mother and her kid are in a park: Kid: Why did the chicken go to jail? Mother: Because the chicken killed your father... Now we are broke living in a park and I'm gonna kill myself at noon, and so are you. Kid: I'm not doing that, and neither are you and Daddies over their! The dad is a zombie, this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypses. THE END!!! PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!

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A black man walks into a white man on the street. The white man viciously beats the black man.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

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whats worse than someone on the phone during a movie? your mother queefing on your bowl of cheerios

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you: knock knock person: who's there you: interrupting cow person: interrupting cow you:MOOOOOOOOO

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

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Situation: A bear is cutting a sunflower's hair Question: How many kangaroos does it take to do surgery on a meatball? Answer: Tomato. Because zebras eat twelve kiwis in a factory every February 29th.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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