I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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What happened to the Jewish child that used to live life like a normal kid? Him and his family were taken to a ditch and shot to death. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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What do you do with a Jewish kid with add( attention deficits disorder)? Send him to a concentration camp

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What do you call a man with ADHD ? A man with ADHD.

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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what is white and sticky? glue.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am a bitch, and so are you!

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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Oh, I must be hearing things.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

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How do you stop a pedophile from following you? Throw a fridge at him

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Knock Knock. Please stop peddling your religion on my doorstep. .

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Who is worse than Justin Bieber? Hitler

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Why did the man go to the doctors? He was concerned about his health.

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so i turned on my radio.. so i could like listen to some tunes but like, it wasnt working and then like my best bud leaf was all like dude, thats a toaster.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

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Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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