What did the boy say to his friend? nothing, they were both deaf

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Mark get paralyzed? Because he was a famed football player that went drafted for the 1st pick but was later hit so hard that his spine com pulsed and tore

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Hey did you hear the one about the pizza oven? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the white man accuse the black man of stealing his wallet? Because they were the only two men in the room at the time of the theft

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Dolly Parton's bobbs are so fake that they both have silicone in them.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A guy walks into a bar... Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get when you mix a donkey with a bungee cord? My bouncy ass

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because no cars were coming.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? The same amount as white people, stop being racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you keep a mexican from drowning? Take your foot off the back of his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -152

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

thumb_up thumb_down +85

whats the difference between a ferrari in my garage, and a pile of dead babies in my garage. I do not have a ferrari but i do have a pile of dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Paul walker: Breaks, stop Breaks: no

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's better than winning the paraplegic Olympics? Walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Suzue fall of the swing? The chain broke.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Whats long and hard and women like to suck on them? A popsicle or long lollipop

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a bed? A: The victim of a serious car accident in a hospital bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

ask me if im a tree are you a tree? yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A special needs student walks into a girls change room, and is then escorted out unaware that what he did was socially unacceptable.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops