Pigs have the emotional capacity of a five year old think about that next time you have to dissect one in biology

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What did the therapist say to the other therapist? We are both therapists

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A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Moral below, I understand you are one of us, but you are not supposed to act when I, your leader is spreading the message, if you want to risk harming the fundation behind your status as a shadow and its benefits, I suggest you cease signing your comments with moral. Moral the friendly neighbourhood r*pist: "Ruining the fundation behind the life of your choosing, will always end up ruining your chance to live and act freely, if you are a true shadow, then you will follow and obey"

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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Why did the chicken invent a memory ereaser machine? So he could erease everyone's memory so they would stop making chicken jokes

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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What do a turtle and a bowling ball have in common? Nothing

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There was a screwdriver and a spoon. What did the screwdriver say to the spoon? Nothing because neither of them are living objects and it is impossible for inanimate objects to talk.

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Why did John fall off his bike? Because, he is a fish and fish cannot ride bikes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My friend has diabetes Stop posting diabetic jokes

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

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DAVID.B YOU O ES 2 BAR YA TRAMP

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Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

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Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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What do you call a black man who gets in the car with a drunk woman? An unsafe, yet easily avoidable situation.

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so a man walks into a bar, then the prison warden told him to calm doun.

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What did the fat black man do? Get a gym membership.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first moneky.. Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game.. Why did the 4th monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure..

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Q: What's funnier than a baby in a blender? A: A baby in a clownsuit in a blender.

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sometimes i put my hands on the floor tuck my head into my cheat and lean forward... because thats how i roll

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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