What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

A baseball player hits a home run and wins the game for his team, when he arrives back home expecting to see his mother and father, he remembers they both died in a car crash several years ago.

Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

Knock knock Who's there? Bill Oh hai come in

What is Hellen Keller's favorite TV show? She doesn't have one - She is blind and deaf.

I won the game.

what is Rebecca black's favorite restaurant? Ruby Tuesdays

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog. Instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

Part 1 - Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! Part 2 - Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy!

im jewish

Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

Huffing glue only becomes a problem when you get stuck on it

whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

A horse walked into a bar and ordered a drink. It was nothing out of the ordinary because the Everett-Wheeler interpretation of quantum mechanics is correct and he lived in a parallel universe in which the roles of humans and horses are reversed.

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink successfully, pays, and leaves. Three weeks later he dies tragically.

What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

Why is a blonde girl crying in the bathroom? Because she has been bullied and someone broke her nose.

What's black and hangs from tree's? A suicidal black man.

What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

A man walks into the bathroom. He dumps cat shit all over the floor

Paper or plastic? Yes...

Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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