How do you get babys to paint a house? depends on how hard you throw them

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Roses are red Violets are orange Thats odd, my violets are somehow orange

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Whats worse then finding a winning lottery ticket? Probably Everything

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Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

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when i start seeing A TON of black people what does that mean? im color blind

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Why did the boy fail his test? Because he got shot before he could even study.

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A black man, a white man and an asian man jump off a building, which one will land first? Due to the equivalence principle, they will all land at the same time.

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Whats the differance between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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What did the little girl who lost her baby teeth want for Christmas? A pony.

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whats black, dirty, and full of trash? A trash can

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Q: Why did the son of the dad who went fishing with him die? A: Well, he was either eaten by a shark or drowned while being the bait before that.

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What did the Albino say to the other albino? Due to heredity and our inheritance of Chromosomes causing albinism, We could be displaced in society but luckily, we have eachother. They went home and lived happily. But not ever after. That craps or normal people. (freaking albinos...)

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm ovulating

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What do you call an amazing, funny, beautiful, nice, goreous, stunning girl? Adena Gabrysiak <3

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What's better then petting a lion? Petting a lion and not getting eaten

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Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while for me to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick(: hahah.

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Why did the black man purchase a gun? Because the man enjoys to go hunting in his spare time.

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A rabbi and a jew walk into a bar and had lot's of crazy anal sex ... then asked god for forgiveness. the end

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What's wheels and has green? Lied, I grassed about the wheels.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

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A Chinese man walks into a bar. With his thick accent, he finds it difficult to order drinks.

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Why do bitches love cheese toast? 'Cuz bitches love cheese toast

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What time is it? I just looked at my clock on the wall. It is 9:14 AM Eastern Standard Time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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