What is better than a Beer? Two Beers.

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what's the difference between a duck? You can't wash a window with a brick.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

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What did the door say to the hand? Please stop caressing me!

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Whats the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? Megan Fox is alive

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A: you have a strong arm. B: yea i work ou- A: you can master bate a whale.

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A guy walks into a bar and says "hey can I get a strong drink" and the bartender says "no we don't allow blacks in this bar" and he was then pushed to the ground and thrown out.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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Wombat monkey juice.

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An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

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friends are like potatoes you eat them they die

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What did the German say to the Jew? I'm not quite sure; I don't speak German.

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Why did the bus drive off the cliff? It's driver happened to be a tomato.

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What did one blind person say to the other? Nothing. He is also mute.

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You want some cake? Sure! Okay, go buy the ingridients and bake me some. YAY!

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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A French man gets into a fight

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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ok last night i found a pic of romney saying "if i win the election 8 million people will have no job" then Obama says hey romney now that i won the election it would be 8 million and one stupid.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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