Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a worm on the other side. And the more pressing question is why do i watch a chicken in my free time

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Its socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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This is the worst anti-joke on the entire site. Just look at all the thumbs down!

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What do you get when you cross chocolate pudding with your mother's slippers? A spanking.

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Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

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When life gives you lemons... you probably just found lemons...

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What did Helen Keller say to the leper? Buaaaaguuuhloo

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Why did the man staple his own scrotum to his left thigh? He didn't. His friends did.

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What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

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What's meaner than taking candy from a baby? Throwing the baby off a cliff.

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Knock knock Who's there? Guess who. You have 4 options: A. Jeremy Stevens B. Donald Jefferson C. Richard Gillespie D. Paul Faggot Um A? Nope, the correct answer is D. Paul Faggot Oh hi Paul, come in.

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Neither did she.

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What is green and red all over? The Hulk's Penis in a blender

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What's the difference between a bag full of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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Why didn't Dave buy his wife a watch for her birthday? Because she already had one.

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Why did Bob fall off a cliff? He had an epileptic episode.

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Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. ;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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