What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the Jewish man celebrating cinco de mayo? Because he likes other cultures and Mexican food Except pork

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you say to a black man on fire... Stop, drop and roll !!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A blond walks into McDonalds. She orders and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If life gives you melons you're dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

VaginaBoob ^.^

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats worst then listening to you girl friends problems? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. WHAT?! You are about to die and be eaten.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Their, they're, there You're, your

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Mr Dalgleish in a formal setting, Kenny in an informal one.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

your all shit at jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? Pancakes are not a feasible material with which to build a doghouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q:Whats a similarity between your mom and your dad? A:They both hate you -Ryan V

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the man do after he got in his car with out his keys? He started it up and drove Away

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than losing your phone? Getting raped anal until phones fall out

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the women's underwear red?... Because she got stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Two drums and a cymbol fall off a cliff... ba bum BUM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA it used to be ba dum ching but im so funny that i changed it to ba dum bum. credit to Alex H

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops