Did you just fall from heaven? If not I'm gonna beat the shit out of you

What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

A black kid, an Asian kid, and a Jewish kid walk into a barrier. They are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they walk straight through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4.

What does a tree do all day? Boredom

I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned

roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

In a galaxy far, far, away.... There were quasars, stars, and various sized meteors.

There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

two men are having a conversation a third man walks what does he do? patiently waits as to not seem rude.

So horse walk into a bar. The barkeep says "Look horse. You cant be in Here. You're too big and you're going to hurt someone....Its just not gonna work out."

How do you get a one-armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To look at the most interesting man in the world.

What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death

Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

Mike tyson

Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

How about that airline food?

How do I get to Carnegie Hall? The address is 881 Seventh Avenue at 57th street in New York. it's beside the Russian Tea Room and almost directly across from the IESE school of business. The Russian Tea Room has a large bright red awning out front and a large carving of three dancing bears on the face of the building, the bears are covered in gold leaf. You can't miss it.

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Nothing because saying a fish can talk is like saying Obama is a good president.

Past, Present and Future walk into a bar. It was tense...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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