i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

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Whats better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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Did you hear about Judith? she was hit by a bus!

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What`s 3 times as worse than a war? 3 wars

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Why did Kim Kardashian's and Kris Humphries marriage last so long? It didn't

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why would a man mistake a watermelon for AK-47? i dont know. The man probably has mental issues.

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A minor walks into a bar. He's not very good at limbo.

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Q:Why was the black guy carrying a gun A:He's a cop

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Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

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Knock knock Whos there A dead boy a dead boy who A dead boy who started tobuy drugs and didn't have the money for it and his family loved him and he was going to go to college

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What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? Well neither has he.

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Want to hear a cat joke? Just kitten.

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Jim: "Hey guess what" Bill: "What" Jim: "George Bush got reelected" *Bill proceeds to throw himself into the Atlantic Ocean.*

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What is Jetlag? When your computer is running too many applications in the background while you're trying to play a game of Jetman so it starts lagging.

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What did the Penis say to the Condom? Nothing. The human organ is not able to talk to another inanimate object, therefore it's impossible.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

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hi

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What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

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Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

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What does a blond see when she looks at a dog? A four legged mammal, refered to as canis lupus familiaris, or what is commonly known as a dog.

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Curiosity killed the cat! No, the tire of a vehicle did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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