Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

whats blue and fuzzy?.... blue fuzz

what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

What's the difference between a fine wine and a dead baby in a blender? One gets better as it ages, and the other is a horrific accident.

Why did Jimmy's grandma never come home ? Her liver failed .

a retard lost...

What do u call a mixture of black people and asian people. Breakfast- Scrambled Eggs and Sausage

What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

What did the lawyer name is daughter? Caroline, in honor of his grandmother who died in THe Holocaust.

Whats funnier then a dead baby? A lot of things.

whats funnier than hugos penis? Nothing!!!!

What do you say to a black couple that just got married? Congratulations

Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

Remember Y2K? That could have been bad.

What do you call the guy who made this page. Answer: A sucker mouth bitch.

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Jay-Z

knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

your mom is so fat jesus couldnt even lift her spirits

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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