There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

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two men are having a conversation a third man walks what does he do? patiently waits as to not seem rude.

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So horse walk into a bar. The barkeep says "Look horse. You cant be in Here. You're too big and you're going to hurt someone....Its just not gonna work out."

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How do you get a one-armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To look at the most interesting man in the world.

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What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

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Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death

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Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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Mike tyson

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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How about that airline food?

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How do I get to Carnegie Hall? The address is 881 Seventh Avenue at 57th street in New York. it's beside the Russian Tea Room and almost directly across from the IESE school of business. The Russian Tea Room has a large bright red awning out front and a large carving of three dancing bears on the face of the building, the bears are covered in gold leaf. You can't miss it.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Nothing because saying a fish can talk is like saying Obama is a good president.

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Past, Present and Future walk into a bar. It was tense...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he was dead.

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Why was Emily in Alaska? Because she and some friends had been playing Simon Says at a birthday party, and the dad had said 'Simon Says go to Alaska'.

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Q: Why doesn't Micheal Jackson have orgasms? A: Because he's dead.

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Daniel Textor can suck a gooch he's such a F - A - GGGGG!! Let's beat him up at lunch.

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Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

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fjasdklfjklasdjfasdfk .... sorry i have terets!

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Why did Pamela Anderson cross the road? To meet me.

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a blonde, a brunette and a red head are robbing a bank, they hear the police coming, so they try to find a place to hide. The red head hides in cat cage, the brunette hides in dog cage and the blonde hides in potatoe sack. When the police come the brunetter says "Woof, Woof!" the red head says "MEOW! MEOW!" and the blonde says "P-O-T-A-T-O-E!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops