What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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Knock knock Who's there? That that that. What makes you say that?

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What's worse than being gay? Dying in a gas chamber in the Holocaust.

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What do you call Michael? A homosexual person who is nice, however he is still gay.

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Jingle bells, batman smells, robin laid an egg.

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What are we then hypocrites?

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an ethopian thanksgiving

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Why are rich guys gay? They can afford to be

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One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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How Do Bulls Drive Cars? They cant, they have hooves making it impractical for a Bull to Drive a car.

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Why is Osama Bin Laden scared of the dark? To be honest, I don't know, and I doubt you do either. Osama Bin Laden has been a fugitive on America's Top Ten Most Wanted list for over 10 years; there is no way that you could possibly know such personal information about him if the United States government can't even locate him and prosecute him for the heinous crimes he committed against the U.S. Don't ever lie to me again.

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If there are 50 oranges and 50 waffles tied to a fence post. How many cow utters does it take to shit green? urine.

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An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Mexican and an American are on a plane. It crashes due to an oversight concerning its weight limit, killing all of its passengers.

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A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

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a jew walked into a bar-mitzvah

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

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Why did the condom drive over his pet mac and cheese? Because his uncle was not george bush.

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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roses are red violets are blue they are pretty and you are not

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What did the young boy get his Father for Father's Day? A bouquet of flowers for his grave stone.

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whats worse than sitting next to jack grindey nothing

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Whats the difference between a pontiac and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a pontiac in my garage.

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What did John the accountant do when he saw a flying dog, He woke up from a wonderful dream and started his day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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