A baby walks into a bar, not long before it leaves out of the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I'm a champion. I do what I want.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What has wings and can't fly? What has legs and can't move? What has mouth and can't eat? A dead bird on the road

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red Viloets are unicorns this? doesn't make sense Refridgeator

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was Why added to why? Because WHy not.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

As a wise man once told me... "natives."

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Nohypocondrism: When you feel fine and everyone keeps telling you you are a sick bastard. Charisma: Hey, that guy that changed my life killed the neighbor, cool rite? I mean that damn neighbor did say nothing to me when I said hi. Solitude: When the room is so overcrowded that you feel small and alone. I think that people that are jack of all trades and master of none are stupid... I AM JACK OF NO TRADES AND MASTER OF ALL! I am nothing, because nothing lives on forever, nothing is unbreakable, nothing is really awesome on a terrible day... I am also Nobody, because Nobody has more money than me.. FUUUUUUUU..

thumb_up thumb_down -20

"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't give you time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings what's worse than 2 bee stings? the Holocaust. what's worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? To go fishing.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happened when the high school student had intercourse with his history teacher? orgasmic noises.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

a dyslexic man came on this website thinking it was made by his aunt Tina keoj he was sadly mistaken. it was just a bunch of jokes about dyslexic men going into bars

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Finding TWO worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What's 1 + 1? A: I don't know, I am an African who was bought up in the famine my mother died, my father starved. I have to sell myself to feed my sisters. I never went to school and drink my urine every second day because I have no water.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the tiger say to the monkey? Nothing really, just a lot of growls and other sounds as he consumed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what did the tomato say when he was cut open? nothing, because vegetables are unable to speak

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have said two factual statements.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops