What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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What do you call a man with no body, just a nose? Nobody Knows.

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what did batman say to robyn before he got in the car?... "get in the car"

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. Yes dyslexic people drink too.

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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Yo momma is so fat that you should really take her to the hospital, i've become very concerned for her.

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How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

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Knock knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Orange Orange who? Banana Banana who? I have AIDS

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whats brown and sticky? whatever is coming from your pants

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Dying of terminal cancer.

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Why black guys are the fasttest runners? Because the slowers are already in prison

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Why did the autistic man cross the road? He was also depressed. It was a highway.

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How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

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You're so ugly you got rejected from the zoo.

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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I started a pottery course where the two instructors looked like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. The only other student looked like Whooping Goldberg. This teacher to student ratio proved invaluable as I am hoping to make a living as an artist and really appreciated all the extra attention.

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An automobile mechanic busted an engine fuse. A prostitute had oral sex with a Marine. An Inuit hunter detonated a sea mammal with TNT. What do they all have in common? They all blew a seal.

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What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Why did the homosexual rapist walk into the pizza shop? Because he was hungry after a long day of raping little boys.

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GONNA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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