Why was the 6 year old girl crying? Her step-dad kicked her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you treat people that cannot say no in just two seconds? (redux and spellchecked) Treatment: Hi...: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! SAY IT MUAHAHAHA! People: NO PLEASE I CANT! NOOOOOO! *door unlocks* Problem solved, NEXT!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Why did Hitler Kill himself? A: Because his wife couldn't match the pleasure of his massive Nazi Orgies

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the rapist say when he spotted the young girl? I am going to rape you!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the African want for breakfast? Ebola cereal

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the teacher get mad at the student? Because he ran over him with a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why didnt the poor black man have cell phone service? Because seven eight nine.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have narcolepsy.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the Rasta man say when he got his dread stuckin the toilet ?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was the little boy sad? Because his dog died

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the fat prick post on the internet? Because he was MorningAfterBoy

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A donkey looks at a goat. The goat walks away.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Nock Nock It's open.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what do you call five mexicans pushing a truck up a hill? Five mexicans stuck in the middle of nowhere looking for an auto mechanic.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops