What did Bush say to Obama was elected? I'm going to have you assassinated.

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What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

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What did the gravel say to the road? Give me the D.

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Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

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Guy 1: Ask me if I have a banana in my ear. Guy 2: Do you have a banana in your ear? Guy 1: Sorry I can't hear you I have a banana in my ear

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whats a cross between michael jackson and arnold shwarzanegga? Michaelwasanigga

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When black people wore their pants low, white people called it "Saggin" little did they know that "saggin" spelled backwards is "white supremacy" those sneaky white people

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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dildo

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whats the difference between madalin mcan and batman...batman returns. not really madalin mcan gets rape fucked by many differnt men at the same time whilst she squeels for help

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how many blondies were at the mall? none they were too busy trying to find the sun.

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? interupting little turtle interupting little tur... LITTLE TURTLE!

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Okay, are you a tree? A: No, no I am not.

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BBC have a new porn channel. C Boobies...

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What do you call a homosexual in the army? A brave and honorable person who should be applauded for their service to this great nation

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Kony 2012

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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I slept with a girl with aids and now I do and so does everybody else I have sex with

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What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

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what does an adhd kid that causes all kind of trouble get? a buncha ass whoopins and some meds to dope his ass up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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