What is red, blue, green, and pink, tie died, and alive? Nothing.

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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One day a farmer was planting his crops. All of a sudden he was hit by the magic school bus.

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What did the people say to each other when they ate the orange? Orange you glad I didn't eat you:) HAHAHAA orange you glad that I am good at telling jokes!

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Why did the man not come out of the closet? He wanted to stay in narnia.

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What do you put in a toaster? Toast, oh wait, it's bread

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Roses are red Violets are red Shit My garden's on fire?

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billy has 100 candy bars he eats 78 of them what does he have now diabetes

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what do you call a man with no arms no legs cancer and down syndrome? you call him stephen because his name is stephen

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How do you drop a raw egg on to the floor without cracking it? Any way you want, it is very hard to crack concrete.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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THIS ONE IS MIIINE THIS ONE IS MIIINE I AM TOTALLY TIFA I AM TOTALLY TIFA! This one apparently.

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A nhiger walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand. "do you have any lemonade" the man said "no. we don't serve nhigers lemonade. but you can drink your own piss boy, thats home made.." the nhiger waddled away (waddle waddle) till the very next day. The nhiger walked up to the lemonade stand with a lawsuit file right in his hand and said "you are legally required to serve me lemonade" the man said "fu(k you nhiger go back to where you came go back to Africa it's full of aids" the nhiger said "goodbye".... i'm too lazy too finish this off so i'll spoil the ending, the nhiger was actually a smelly pakistanian, which was actually a dirty chi-nk in costume. let's just say lawsuits were filed but the lemonade stand owner had casey anthony's lawyer and in the end never had to serve fu-cking nhiger ,smelly pakies or dirty chin-ks again :) The End. Happily Ever After.

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How do you get a dog and a baby mixed up? You stir your chili.

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your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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What song does a bulimic person sing while on the toilet? Nothing Bulimic people don't poop.

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A tree fell in the forest. The person in the house it hit heard it.

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Where do you go when you die? Nowhere

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Why is it bad to smoke in a public place? Because secondhand smoke may cause lung cancer.

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What did the snowman put on his head? Nothing; snowmen are inanimate.

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What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

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I have the answer to why the child stepped on a ball-he was dumb

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Johnny had 50 candy bars. He ate 45 of them. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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