A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "How'd you open the door?"

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whats the point of anti jokes? A: the point that it is no point

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A man walks in to a bar. He was hospitalized and died later that day.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding your babies head in a microwave

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What's worse than sitting in a car that's steered by a woman? Sitting in an airplane steered by a suicidal pilot.

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what did the teacher say to the kid? you failed the kid cried.

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Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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Q: What comes after 8? A: 9

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Roses are gray violets are gray everything is gray because I'm color blind.

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Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

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A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

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Why did the blonde driver crossed the red light? Because she has a good notion of physics and realized that the truck that was behind her was too fast to stop in time and if she braked there could have been an accident.

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Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

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whats worse than bitting into ur apple and finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just murded noddy and his family who were making a nice little home in there

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An enormous black man wearing a durag walks into a bar. Due to the diverse and friendly comminuty he lives in, nobody judges him on his race, ethnicity, or culture. He goes on to pursue his career in business and gets a Masters Degree in Business Administration. He get's a job as an IT Director for a very successful business and he marries a well educated woman. They have 2 kids, but one of them is diagnosed with "Ondine's Curse" and dies in it's sleep. Distressed, and mourning the death of his newborn son, he seeks help from his parents. Regardless of his parents comforting and loving attitude towards him, he goes into the inner city smoking and selling illegal drugs like crack. He even got into cocaine and marjuana. 4 and a half years later, he was about to attempt suicide, when he saw his only living son, whom he loved with all his heart, walk into the room with his teddybear. He just looked at him, and he looked back. Suddenly, the father started crying. Flashbacks started playing though his mind of his happy life he was steadily pursuing. "why me?" He constantly thought to himself. What did he do to deserve this? 7 years in the future. The father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Right before his death, he asked to talk to his son. "Son, listen to me. Never try to comtemplate the world we live in, it's too spontaneous and insane to understand. This world can either give you bliss or depression. Nothing inbetween. And most people who make there way up to the top eventually will fall. What goes up must come down. Ha... I never thought I'd be talking to me own son giving him a silly lecture in a deathbed. But just look at me..."the father gets very muddled and disoriented* "...Son. They say most of us have a good reason to live. Well don't most of us have a good reason to die too?" Malik Cartwright died on March 22, 1999. His son went on to legally change his middle name to "Leek", after his father's nickname. He went on to get the same Master's Degree that his father received, and had kids of his own. The whereabouts of the mother are unknown.

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How come Hellen keller is blind and deaf? Cause she is a women.

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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What do you call 200 black men jumping from a plane? Night

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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What do bluejays and cardinals have in common? They both Were born during the Medevil period.

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Yo mama is so stupid, she has a sub-par intelligence quota.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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