Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

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can you pass the soap?

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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Why did Wiggy fall into the toilet? Wiggy was the name of his turd.

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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Why did labour not win the election in 2010? Because they are clearly shit.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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roses are blue viloets are red this poem doesnt make sense microwave

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? A. Spot

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The camp counselor woke me up, and said that it was going to be a long week. I didn't worry though, since all weeks are 7 days long.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What is rectangular, white and has two wheels? A limo getting its wheels replaced.

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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How many children does it take to kill a homocidal killer? None. Children should not attempt such a dangerous task.

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What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

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You know what's funny? You can't spell manslaughter without laughter.

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Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive hair traits.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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