A rabbi, a nun, a priest, a hooker, a stripper, 2 secret servicemen, a teacher, a midget, a ginger, a rodeo clown, a nascar driver, a homosexual native american, a heterosexual native american, 2 portuguese tuba players, an african american taxi driver, a blind man, his seeing eye dog, a bartender, 2 minor league baseball players, 3 lesbian mexican salsa dance instructors and a dwarf are all in a bar. They all had a good time and the teacher and one ol the portuguese tuba players ended up becoming facebook friends.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

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they say that cancer can't pass but why do three our your uncles have it

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My girlfriend dumped me because I'm patronizing. That means I treat people like they're stupid.

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replied, "That's probably because you're schizophrenic."

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

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What does Rubens Barrichelo does with his F1 championship trophies? He never got one.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

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Why did the person post a real joke with bad grammar and spelling on anti-joke.com? They didn't flippin' understand the point of the website.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had no arms.

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

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Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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what did the gay guy get for his birthday aids

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What do you call two black guys flying a plane? Pilots.

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Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

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once upon a time jeff peterson was taking a daily walk when he stops and stares at a strange object. it was an assasin with a knife who slaughtered jeff decapitating his head while his family cry's. THE END

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Q: Whats different about pizza and jewish people? A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

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Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

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Granny porn!

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How does a printer work? You plug it in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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