why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

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Weaner

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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What's black and white and red all over? My dog after she was hit by a car (true story)

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Q: Why did the black man win the 100 meter dash? A: Because ever since he heard of this event, he has spent weeks preparing for it.

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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How do you kill a vampire? You can't because vampires aren't real.

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

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What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

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Adam and Eve ate the apple and felt a bit ashamed and stuff. God looked upon them and said, well its just a fucking apple get outta here you kids! Adam and Eve also took things a bit too literal

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Why did the man punch NUGE in the face? Because he got angry that NUGE was being such a BA person and he was jealous of NUGE'S style and he just got dumped by his ugly as poop mom which was eating Anti Chicken.

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You're adopted.

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Q: what did the man say to the woman when he wanted her to leave? A: please leave

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

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Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

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Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

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2 Penises

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What's the same between grapes and squirrels? They're both purple, except for the squirrel.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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