what's the difference between people and horses? people have two less legs.

Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

knock knock , who there ray, ray who , ray winstone , I am your daddy you'll get your perks.

A chinese man walks into a kitten store. He is a nice man in search of a companion.

A black teenager drives an Escalade His father is a prominent lawyer and his mother is a neuroscientist.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

Knock knock. Who's there? The pizza delivery guy. Oh hi.

A man walks into a bar. "Ouch, he says, I did not see that bar there."

if a kayak was stuck in a tree with its headlights on, how many pancakes stacked will it take to get to the moon? none because snakes dont have armpits

What did the kid with no arms and no legs go for christmas? Cancer

What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

how do you kill a blond? give her a gun and tell her it a blow dryer

What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

A man opens his sock drawer, grabs his socks and puts them on.........He dies 5 minutes later.

When I exited the hospital one day, I spotted a sign saying "Come back soon!" Soon afterwards I saw people protesting to ban dihydrogen monoxide. The next day on tv I saw an ad for a solar powered lightbulb. Then I saw a Gun control poster. I cried, this being the dumbest thing I had seen yet, and the world was certainly doomed due to humanity's general stupidity. I saw a chicken crossing a packed road. Why did the chicken feel the urge to cross the road?

A woman goes into the supermarket and buys a single banana, a canned meal for one and some ice cream. While paying for her items, the cashier looks up at her and says "I can tell you're single" "Oh yeah? How'd you know?" The woman asks. "Because you're ugly as fuck." Replies the cashier.

lucas sehnoun told me anti-joke was funny

What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

Why did the chicken cross the road?? So he could tell me to tell this joke to everybody and therefore prevent the universe from exploding

Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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