Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How can you put 2 elephants in a bottle without touching each other. You put an elephant between them.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

so he says "aaahhh". then i threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, get out of the garden it's time for lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

"life is like a box of chocolates", except you cant eat life and hocolate doesnt rain on you.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man called his dentist and asked when he should make an appointment. The dentist told him to come in around two thirty pm because that's when the next appointment was available.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation can be known as fishing for compliments or reassurance of your value as a human being. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

1,984

thumb_up thumb_down -3

You're a wizard Harry! I am?

thumb_up thumb_down -55

A black guy and a white guy walk into a bar, they were both unemployed and blowing their savings on their alcohol addictions

thumb_up thumb_down +92

What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Moves Like AJgger- Marron 5

thumb_up thumb_down +73

Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

thumb_up thumb_down -155

I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

thumb_up thumb_down -57

What's black and hangs from trees? tires ...and black people

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops