Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the seat next to you? A: Whatever his name happens to be.

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Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

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How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

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Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

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A hippie gets on a bus and greets the bus driver in a nice fashion Once the bus stops at his bus stop he thanks the bus driver and gets off the bus

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Hey dude when is 4th of July? I don't know.

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What's worst then getting struck by lightening? your face.whats worse then seeing your face? NOTHING

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a chinese wompus came out of the basement.

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Why is Finnish taxi driver smiling while driving? He's happy.

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i knew this one arab, who was so arab that there was nothing funny about him

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what did the carrot say to the rabbit? stop eating me you son of a B*****

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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what did the murderer say when he lost his gun? dangit. now i cant kill anyone

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know chickens are absent minded creatures that can aimlessly walk around.

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How did the asian woman's car get totaled She was hit by a drunk driver

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when life knocks you down you don't do anything because life is a mental concept that does not have the ability to knock you down since it doesn't have a physical bodie

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Once upon a time there was a magical duck in a magical kingdom. Nothing interesting ever happened to it and it was eaten by a magical fox.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You just glass her.

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Knock knock. Come in.

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What did the african american ninja say to the jewish bartender? Can I have a beer?

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An Englishmen, an Australian, an American and a Chinese man were in a bar they were all friends who were having a drink together.

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What is the difference in a crow. There is none. Both legs are of equal length.

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A horse walks into a bar, The bar tender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies, "my wife has terminal cancer"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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