Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Person 1: Ask me if I'm a truck? Person 2: Are you a truck? Person 1: No.

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What the black guy say to the Jew during the blizzard? I think it's snowing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was depressed for a long time and decided to end his life by getting hit by a car.

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Where does a homeless person live? No where

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a guy walked into a bar, ordered a drink, sipped it slowly thinking of his waisted youth. then he finished his drink and went home to his wife of 34 years

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Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

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A man became infected with Staphylococcal Food Poisoning. The doctor said, "You only have 24 hours to live." He died 24 hours later.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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Q. What language cant you speak A.Sign language

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Bob is asleep. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT BOB

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I am an orphan I have no parents

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

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how do you rube out a circle? don't draw one

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why did the car go to the bathroom? it had gas.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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What do I smell like to you?? Crap.

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9/11 my birthday

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How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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