A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

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How do they call a black man that works in a mine. Miner.

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Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Just like you would anyone else: buy a dog.

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What did the Polish man say to his doctor? "Witam, doktorze. By?em kaszel z ostatnich kilku tygodni i jest wysypka na moim lewym ramieniu. Czy jest co? co mo?na zrobi?, aby mi pomóc?" I don't know what it means, either.

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When's the worst time to use skin moisturizer? When you're a burn victim.

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Yo mama so fat she runs the risk of stroke, heart disease, or diabetes

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What happens when you give a fat man scissors? He cuts off the foreskin of your penis.

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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whats black and white and covered in blood Michael Jackson being stabbed

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Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

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Do you know why I am excited? I don't know I'm asking you.

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What's the most common pickup line in a gay bar? "Hi, may I buy you a drink?"

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what do you call four black people in a red sleeping bag? -a very snug sleeping bag as they can rarely fit more then one person comfortably

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Michael Jackson's favorite places: Toystore Candy shop Playground Amusment parks Kindergarden classroom Orphanige

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Beth got an aunt farm for her birthday.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know but you're a sick person even thinking about it.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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"What starts with an 'F' and ends with 'uck'?" "I don't know, what?" "'Firetruck.'"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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