This is my firstever post so I wanted to make it very specialand have it really mean something, then I though fark that for a joke

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's older than history? Pre-history.

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A Blonde walks into a bar. She is in an abusive relationship and drinking her pain away.

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What can be worst than letting someone you dont know run a chainsaw? Letting Smokey Dokey run a chainsaw!

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Yo mama so fat, she was accepted to a clinical trial for treatment of morbid obesity in middle-aged women.

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hey im leon and i love the chuckie

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What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. You are under arrest for sodomy.

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

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Siblings are like sharks, they usually stop biting you when you stab them in the eyes

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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Why did the poorly educated man get fired from the M&M factory? He changed the M's to W's!

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What is white and stands in the corner? A refridgerator who has been very bad...

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What happens when you put a squid in the microwave? It dies.

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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Why did the Mexican jump the American border? Because he wanted a better paying job to support his family, and legal immagration to the States is a lengthy and highly difficult process.

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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What did the mother do when she find out her daughter left for the party? Nothing. She realized her daughter was old enough to make mature descions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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