Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? get down.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did batman say to robin as he got out of the batmobile? robin, shut the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

kennah campion... being nice

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I am paralyzed from the neck down.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

knock knock, Whos there ? ( runs away ) trololololololololol

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: Why shouldn't you throw rocks at a black guy on a bike? A: Because he could sustain serious injury if a rock hits him in the head, not to mention it is extremely rude.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the man fall of the building? Someone shot both of his kneecaps.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Is Charlie Sheen bi-polar? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why was the Mexican sleeping? He wishes to decrease his risk of motor vehicle accidents.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between you and yourself? Yourself has 4 more letter in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

In mother Russia you don't eat cookie. Dog eat shark. -B.Gill

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Bake until golden at 375

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops