How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how do you get rid of your home work? give it to your dog!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats purple and savage? Barney!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

thumb_up thumb_down

why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why do black people love watermelon and fried chicken? Honestly who doesn't? Duh! Because most people do! Moral: Not so sure about the coolaid though...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What has wheels and spins round and round? A dog in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Rosa Parks is going to be here if she gets to the bus on time!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

What's the worst part about seeing a dead baby on the beach? The crushing sadness.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer-pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

What did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They didn't. She was a blind deaf-mute, there was very little she could do wrong

thumb_up thumb_down +5

ask me if im poop are you poop? no that is impoible

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I am black. And i will beat your children. At checkers. They can be the red .

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Poop

thumb_up thumb_down -61

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops