Yo mama so fat, her whole family is encouraging her to exercise and go on a diet.

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So these IRS agents were negotiating a deal.....

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? A one-way ticket to Hell for messing with God's creations, you heathen!

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What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

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Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

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whats the same about a red crayon and a blue crayon? there both the same color except for the blue one

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A Chinese man and an African man walk into a bar. Its good to see so much multiculturalism in a usually racist society.

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fire extinguisher. Fire extinguisher who? POMEGRANITES.

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What's the difference between my father and my mother. My father isn't an alcoholic

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One holds groceries and the other molests little children.

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Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't reply because horses don't speak. However, he is confused and scared by the unfamiliar surroundings. Trying to escape, the horse breaks his leg. The horse must be put down.

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Why did the cop not arrest the driver? The Driver shot him 2 minutes earlier.

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Why did the creeper not go home? Because his parents blew up. (As told by a 7 year old.)

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Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

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A blond and a brunette are on the moon. The brunette says to the blond "I'm glad that independent company's are taking the job of American space travel."

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knock, knock who's there? boo boo who? sorry i dont know anyone named boohoo so get the hell off my lawn

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what happens when you jump of a cliff usually you die

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What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cats dont talk.

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Whats funny about the Holocaust? Nothing.

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what did the girl say after she got hit by a bus, nothing she was dead

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TWATFROST HOLOCOSTME sOME MONEY TO GET A BOOB JOB HAHAHAHA BALOWJOB

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Why didn't the 9-year-old girl go to school on monday? Because she lived in a country where women don't have rights and was traded as a commodity for 2 pigs to be a wife for a 43 year old man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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