How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

thumb_up thumb_down -36

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what happened when a duck flew over the hunter during duck hunting season? the hunter shot at the bird, but fortunately, the hunter was nit very good so the duck flew back to his wife and children by the pond.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many orangoutangs does it take to screw in a light bulb? 16; mongoloid

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub. She says "Show me it's true what they say about black men". So he reveals a big penis and they have sex there and then.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I have CDO it's like OCD but in the right order

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call it when a homosexual from spain is forced to have sex with a 400 pound black man? Rape

thumb_up thumb_down -51

What does a blind, deaf, parapalegic baby get for christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -125

What should you say when someone says a bad joke? I'm sorry, your joke cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and don't try again.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why didn't junior say thank you for his christmas present from his dad? He was raised by two moms

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you get when you cross a chicken with an alligator? Go take some acid and find out for yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What will ur wife say when she finds you in bed with a hore-s.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road. To get to the other side. Original anti joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

INSULT- You've got a photographic memory, but the lens cap is on. INSULT- Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic INSULT- I heard you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork. From- Insults and Putdowns lite

thumb_up thumb_down

people say thers saftey in numbers, try telling that to 6 million jews

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did my grandma tell me during a funeral? Nothing. It's her funeral. She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Have you seen stevie wonders new house No Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops